Before I actually get into this post, here are two (ok, rather odd) photos of me. Half with make-up, half au naturel...same person and same personality with and without the make up...though the make up seems to have a big impact on how I feel about myself and of course, how I look. I'm going to be honest, it makes me slightly nervous putting this photo out into the interweb for others to see. However, this blog is like my diary and I want it to be a place where I can be open about things even if that means showing you all I look like a 12 year old boy without make up. Today I'm just going to have a brief chit chat on why I feel "prettier" with make up on as it's something that's been playing on my mind lately.
Since from the age of about 13 I started experimenting with make up. I wish I could go back and ask my younger self what it was that triggered that initial, "I want to put make up on." Was it seeing my older sister and mum do the same? Was it the models I saw in magazines that made me feel like it was a necessary thing to do? Who knows. All I know is that I wanted to start wearing it, experiment with colours and see what all these weird and wonderful products did. Ever since then I have continued to wear make up to help myself look and feel better. Not for men. Not for women. Not for anyone else. For me. Though it amazes me that some people still think that if someone wears a lot of make up, therefore we must be insecure, dumb, vain...etcetc. Which is absurd, because what make up I put on my face doesn't reflect my intelligence or confidence, it just reflects my damn good make up skills BTW. I'm aware that make up won't solve my insecurity issues I have since that's only something that can be sorted from the inside anyway (skin deep n all that). I also know i'm not dumb - I'm smart, I think, have ideas, I study... just like anyone else, just like any other intelligent men and just like any other intelligent girls who choose not to wear much or any make up.
So why do I love to wear make up? and why do I feel "prettier"with it on?
Because it enhances all the features I already have. It allows me to be creative and experiment and it makes me feel good about myself. I have never once thought, whilst applying a lipstick, "I hope he/she likes it". I couldn't really give a monkeys if i'm honest because I like it, and I like how it looks on me. I guess if someone else likes my make up then that's just a bonus. I've never considered or seen myself as a natural beauty. I don't consider myself very blessed with natural beauty and make up gives me more confidence. I've also suffered with bad acne for a long time and I think I look slightly 'boyish' without mascara on so for me, make up allows me to create a look that i'm happy with! It makes me happy with what I see in the mirror. I love seeing my face transform with the use of different products, I actually find it all pretty fascinating and i'm not even ashamed to say that! We all have our different reasons I guess.
And how do I feel without my make up on?
If i'm alone and going about my day, the lack of make up doesn't bother me. If I go out and see people, and/or allow people to see me for the first time without, it's hard for me to adjust and I do think 'wow they must think I look like a totally different person'. But honestly, I personally feel like the same person though I may not appear to look the same from the outside. I'm not going to lie, it does make me slightly nervous for the day I will have to show my face to a man who will see that I don't look the same without all the make up - only my family and close friends have seen me without it really. However i'd like to hope that when i've found the right person, they won't give a crap about my face without make up BCOZ BEAUTY IZ SKIN DEEP LIKE. I can enjoy spending a day at home without make up on and I feel *sometimes* comfortable going out without it but, 9 times out of 10, I feel better with it on. So yes maybe I do lack some confidence therefore that's why I wear make up, to make me feel better, but it's not like I wipe off the confidence with a wipe at the end of the day, it's still there, just enhanced with a few powders and brushes before.
Hey, I probably would wear less make up if my skin was better and I was more blessed with a perf face - but it's not and i'm grateful that make up exists and allows me to create the look I want. It's something enjoyable and fun, just like experimenting with fashion, different styles, tattoos or different hairstyles and colours. What i'm trying to say is that there is nothing wrong with the two. Wearing make up doesn't make you shallow and not wearing it is fine too. Don't judge someone for the products they use, it's not your face, not your problem.